HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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