I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish I could teleport
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
