Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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