Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he fucked my hip out of place.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
