the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
