she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize