she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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