Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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