So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
