Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
