dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
