If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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