We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
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On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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