Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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