you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
