We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
