Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
