ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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