Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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