if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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