So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
