it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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