I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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