You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
