Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
