I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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