I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's just like the Real World with babies
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
