if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
