So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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