I look better un-naked...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
