Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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