I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
