I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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