I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
