i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
