FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There r osticjed everywhere
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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