does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
