a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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