I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
