well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
