I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
