Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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