So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize