their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
