The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
