I faked an abortion last night.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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