Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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