come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
