Yo dont text me then not text me
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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