I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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