Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
