i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
