in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
so much tequila, so little girl.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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