What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
