Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
