You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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