Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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