Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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