They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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